The Most Common Regret Involves Romance

One in five respondents in a survey asking people their biggest regret discussed a lost opportunity in love. The next most common regret involves a family issue. In this study women fret about a lost love twice as much as men. People expressed regret about the things that got away more than regrets about the actions they took.

This is a thought provoking question for all of us.
How would you answer it?
Read the article by Tara Parker-Pope as well as the comments in The New York Times.

For more discussion read the article on the blog The Situationist for an interesting perspective of this very complicated emotion.

Do we focus too much on being happy?

Research in Positive Psychology, which studies Happiness, has found that too much focus on feeling happy can backfire and actually leave you feeling less happy. They found that the things that really matter in life aren't ones that lead to short bursts of pleasure like eating a good meal or winning in sports.

Eudaimonia- the Greek word associated with happiness- is said to come from achieving one's potential. It comes from having purpose and feeling part of a community, rather than wealth and possessions. The Wall Street Journal discusses whether Happiness is Overrated in an article by Shirley Wang.

After the Trauma Should You Get Your Feelings Out?

Recent studies say that it is not necessarily the best idea to pressure someone to debrief after a trauma. For some the act of retelling can even be harmful to them. We need to respect each individual's different means of coping which means we can't assume that talking about a frightening incidence will bring comfort. Most important is that in the face of trauma, social support is critical and can help one deal with something extremely difficult. Read more in the Times article by Maia Szalavitz.

Treat yourself kindly

There is a widespread belief that we are supposed to be hard on ourselves. However, research shows that if you treat yourself kindly and accept your imperfections you may have less depression and anxiety. Many people fear that they will become self indulgent or will lower their standards because they believe that self-criticism keeps them in line. The new thinking is that self- compassion leads to lower stress and life satisfaction. Read more in The New York Times.