The concrete physical health benefits of mediation and mindfulness are being studied by many scientists. Carolyn Gregoire reported the findings of a study completed in Sweden in The Huffington Post. It included over 200 patients and compared the effectiveness of two interventions, individual CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and mindfulness training. The study found that mindfulness training can be as effective as traditional forms of therapy in managing the symptoms of anxiety and depression. The reduction in participants' symptoms may be due to real changes in the brain.
Mindfulness is free and available to everyone, however while many people have good intentions and want to meditate, they just don't get around to it. So, fortunately or unfortunately therapists will remain busy even after they educate their patients about the power of meditation.
In his article for the New York Times, Dr. Richard Friedman cautions parents to refrain from squashing the enthusiasm, creativity and curiosity of children identified with ADHD. New research has found that ADHD kids as well as adults are hard-wired to seek novel and exciting experiences due to a less sensitive reward circuit in their brains.
Knowledge is power. Translated for the parents of ADHD children, this means providing stimulating activities that will trigger their children's interests as well as finding an environment that celebrates their strengths. Because most structured environments label ADHD as a liability, parents can help their kids see it as an asset; and help them envision a future where they can thrive.
Many of us know about the marshmallow test, the famous test invented 50 years ago to identify which children had self control. Five-year-olds were given a marshmallow and told that if they could resist eating it for 15 minutes, they could get 2 marshmallows instead of just one.
The results had real predictive value. Those children who waited coped better with stress and were generally more successful than the ones who didn't wait.
We often equated the test with destiny. However, those analyzing the results neglected to consider our ability to intervene and teach self control to those kids who weren't able to rely gratification for 15 minutes. The test could be used to demonstrate to parents which child could benefit from exercises to increase his self control.
In her Op-Ed for the New York Times, Pamela Druckerman interviews the author of the Marshmallow test, psychology professor, Walter Mischel. He discovered the technique used by the successful students was DISTRACTION. Instead of fixating on the marshmallow, they concentrated on something else. Learning to distract oneself is something we can all teach our children.
In this day of instant gratification, the ability to teach our children self control is a tool that will help them reach their goals and have less distress coping with frustration. Powerful yet simple!
Most parents struggle with the boundaries around screen time for their children, usually because they struggle with it themselves. Jordan Shapiro writes about the confusion in his article, The Truth About Parenting And Smartphones, for Forbes Magazine. He disagrees with the notion that smartphone use leads to bad parenting.
There is no getting away from cell phones and tablets. We live in a wired world with data seeping through our hands and homes. There is no putting the technology genie back in the bottle. What's a parent to do absent of clear information of how much constitutes too much interaction with screens?
The ability to be a good or better parent still belongs to the individual parent and his/her sense of what feels right. Technology will not rob you of this. The antidote to excessive screen use is good boundaries and balance. Figure out what works for you and your family, implement it and stick to it!
The term "Emotional Intelligence" became widely-known with the publication of Dr. Daniel Goleman's book, Emotional Intelligence - Why it can matter more than IQ in 1996. Since then it has had a meteoric rise in importance because it is associated with good mental health and leadership skills. Put simply, people with emotional intelligence have both the ability to differentiate between different emotions and the ability to label their feelings.
In the Huffington Post, author, Devishobha Ramanan identifies easy ways for parents to foster empathy, a critical component of
emotional intelligence, in children.
I first wrote about this phenomena in 2004. In fact my co-author and I were the first ones to publish a book on this subject, titled, Mom, Can I Move Back in With You? A guidebook for parents of twenty somethings. It's now available for the Kindle.
The topic has proved to be evergreen and journalists continue to write about Kids moving home after college. Adam Davison for the New York Times has pronounced, "It's Official: The Boomerang Kids Won't Leave!"
Well, I for one am not one bit surprised. The lack of generation gap coupled with the economy, student loans and low paying entry jobs and high rent makes moving home a smart choice. Moving home doesn't mean our kids are stunted, stuck or exeriencing arrested development.
Moving home is a rational decision for parents and twenty
somethings that makes good sense.
The first reason to try therapy is to learn the skills to help us become more sufficient at helping ourselves.
Emotions are felt in our body and brain and when we don't have the ability to know the difference between anger, sadness, frustration, shame, etc. we are left feeling overwhelmed without any ability to help yourself.
Feelings don't fade away, they get stored in the body and often affect us in ways we can't express in words. Learning to decode and translate our feelings gives us the tools to help ourselves.
In fact, many of the big things we may be ashamed to say become little things when we feel safe enough to speak about them. It's comforting to know we are not alone.
Alice Walton gives 11 Intriguing Reasons to Try Therapy in an article for ForbesIt's well done!
Most relationships wish they could sustain the passion, the spark, the intense sexual attraction that exists in the beginning. But the reality for many is that passion fades even for the happiest couples. In this TED Talk, Author Esther Perel discuses The secret of desire in long term relationships. Please take some time to watch, I'm sure you will find this interesting!
Why is the mother-daughter dynamic such a complex one? Some mothers want to walk and talk just like their adult daughters. Some daughters need their mothers' acceptance before they make any move. In honor of Mother's Day I'm posting the link to an interview on Oprah.com with Stephanie Mitchell about our book Too Close for Comfort?
I recommend the interview, Stephanie is a good interviewer and asked in depth questions about this complicated subject. While you are on the site, there are many other articles and interviews on the subject.
Happy Mothers Day!
In the past, the expectation of getting all our needs met by our spouse was not something expected by either partner. But married couples today have very high expectations for their marriage. Couples assume that marriage itself will provide them with personal self-fillment. This is a relatively new notion and places too much pressure and expectations of the marriage. Marital satisfaction is is important because happier marriages make happier people. In the article, The All or Nothing Marriage in the New York Times, Eli Finkel discusses whether he thinks the average marriage is better today than in previous decades.
